Have you ever had moments in your life when you knew things were changing? This can be on any level. Maybe you are moving to a new town or home. Maybe you have let go of a relationship or friendship. Maybe it’s time for a new job.
The unknown can be both an exhilarating and terrifying space to live in. So many of us get comfortable in our routines. It’s often ‘easier’ to stay in a bad relationship or unfulfilling job than go through the process of growing into a better life. Even good news can create a lot of discomfort about the future.
Truth be told moving forward takes insight, a willingness to self-reflect, and the courage to take new actions. If these new behaviors are not well received by our current community, we can feel hurt, disappointed, or downright depressed. Between you and me this is normal.
Recently I was reflecting on the feeling of discomfort and trying to pinpoint the origin. The news is all good right now with my movie release happening in a few short weeks.
“So, what’s the problem,” I thought to myself. “It’s all good.” I described the moment to a friend feeling as if I were a snake who was shedding its old skin but hadn’t grown into the new layer yet.
For people who have experienced a life and death trauma, a state of fight or flight is not an unusual feeling. The question then becomes how we manage the moment and continue to move ahead? It’s so easy to retreat when we feel overwhelmed or are sensitive to all the external madness.
This is when we come back to the well-known idea of simple disciplines. Creating a new reality, even as amazing as it may be, is scary. Letting go is both liberating and sad. Truth be told, there is space for all of it. If you are uncomfortable right now, I am here to say I understand and support you as you fit into that new skin. This is the process of human revolution we discuss so often. It is how we ultimately create a happier and more fulfilling life.
Yes, gratitude is key to a healthy emotional life, but this doesn’t mean we have to just ignore feelings of unease or uncertainty or anger or grief.
Time in codependency recovery has taught me that feelings are not facts and that the discomfort will not last forever. In the meantime, take it easy on yourself. I remind myself daily ‘this too shall pass,’ I was watching Spencer, the newest movie about Princess Diana. Actress Kristen Stewart does a remarkable job portraying the Princess. Towards the end of the film when everyone else thought Diana was going mad from depression and anxiety a friend got her laughing. The two women sat and laughed until they cried. Her friend finally said, ‘You don’t need a psychiatrist, you need a good laugh and some fun.’
For those of us who manage depression and anxiety therapy can be a tremendous tool. This is a personal decision. What I got from this moment in the film was to laugh more and remember to enjoy life amidst the challenges and new opportunities.
The new groove will click in, and the angst will ease. These are growing pains as we shed our old, unhealthy behaviors and with it often must shed people whose mission in our life is complete. It’s painful but the old saying is true, out with old, in with the new.
So, if you’re in the space between what was and what’s evolving, sit tight. You’re doing the work and new roots sprout beautiful trees. Your life is growing. I say congratulations. Your courage to walk a new path will ultimately manifest more than you could have imagined for yourself. Keep walking, the finish line is not as far as you think.
You are Winning!!!