Are your old habits the reason for your current stinking thinking? – Amy Jordan

Are your old habits the reason for your current stinking thinking?

Earthly desires are enlightenment. Yes, really but not how you might think…

Read any headline or capture any ‘breaking’ story and what does it reflect, everything wrong. 

For most of us, the conditioning starts early on.  We are told we can’t have what we want, that it is selfish to have big dreams and desires, that money is the root of evil, and so on…

As a result, we create a world of disbelief in our ability.  We spend a lot of time comparing ourselves to others and often tearing other people down to make ourselves feel better.  We become fearful of going after what we want, applying for the job, going to the audition, asking for the raise, or any other ideal we feel is out of our reach. 

As we know everything in our environment reflects ourselves. This concept was difficult for me as I was living in victim mode for so much of my life.  Especially for those of us who have had significant trauma, it’s so easy to play the blame game.  The scenarios are wide, anything from complaining about being broke to physical ailments and weight-related issues.

We wind up tired, physically sick, depressed, and socially isolated.  This pretty much sums up most of my young adult life.  When I began to look at my own environment it was a bit of a rude wake-up call.  Fortunately, I was able to begin, over time, to take stock in my behavior and ideas about what was possible and make some significant adjustments in my actions. 

For those of us who are extremists, the opportunities came in huge forms.  Becoming legally blind at age 21 forced me to turn over the car keys and stop driving.  This event didn’t ‘just happen.’  Feeling victimized the easy out was to blame my diabetes.  Let’s dig a little deeper.  I was bingeing on everything in sight and my blood sugar was off the charts pretty much all the time.  Denial is a great coping skill until it backfired (spoiler alert, it always does).  The retinal specialist treating me at the time confronted me about my diabetes management and guess what, I lied.  Who did I think I was fooling besides myself saying my blood sugar was well-maintained?

I don’t say this to berate myself but prove the idea that I was living what had been conditioned, that I was sick and incapable of having a full and happy life.  Whether it’s conscious or not what we program into our heads matters.  The daily personal conversation went something like this on repeat: ‘I’m fat, I’m ugly, I’ll never get that job’ so why try and so on.   The flow of these thoughts was constant until finally the causes being made had real-life and horrific effects.

I did not intentionally make causes that led to severe visual impairment.  Once I had given up the car keys it was time to reassess everything, physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

As time has passed and knowledge has grown it became clear that the conditioning I received as a young person did not serve anymore.  How many times do we hear ‘but when I was a child; or ‘My parents did this or that or I didn’t go to college or ‘he doesn’t love me back’ whatever the mental tape is.

It’s been proven that great athletes achieve such high performance by repetition, both mental and physical. How many times do we hear stories of injured athletic stars who spent their rehabilitation time replaying a winning scenario in their minds while rehabilitating their physical bodies? 

Despite the setback, their belief in their ability remained firm.  They do not allow themselves to be taken down by mental misgivings. 

Like physical conditioning to be fit and strong reprogramming, our mental fitness takes energy and effort.  We are not beholden to our past, our parents, our illness, our financial situation, or any other myriad of excuses because we don’t succeed.  For many of us, it’s become comfortably uncomfortable to stay in the negativity and defeat.  If it’s all we’ve known so we stop expecting anything better.

2021 allowed me to embrace some mental redirecting and it’s not always easy. Telling ourselves we are competent and can have what we want and deserve can be unsettling.  Like anything new, it gets easier.  I took on the challenge with a kind of ‘let’s see what happens.’ Attitude.  I forgave myself for things I wish I had done differently.  I learned and was determined to not repeat the mistakes.  I also determined to have work and personal victories and kept the focus on these wins rather than past challenges that had taken up too much rent in my head.

Guess what?  It’s working.  New and amazing work opportunities are flowing in with grace, and I welcome them with excitement.  New friends and more fun opportunities are also flowing seamlessly.  To be honest part of me is like WTF? 

Truth be told we are allowed to be happy and prosperous.  Whatever obstacles we encounter help us evolve and allow us to become confident and secure and yes abundant.  It’s O.K.  We don’t have to suffer for the sake of suffering. 

With the theme this year of relaxed intensity let’s all push past conditioning that simply no longer serves. I hate to admit it but thinking good thoughts and taking appropriate action simply works. 


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