I’m quitting.
I’ll be single forever.
I can’t do it anymore.
There’s no point.
There is no place for my voice.
How often do you feel this way?
As artists and entrepreneurs, it’s an effortless and safe fallback. Let’s face it, we get more rejection than response. Couple that with a full-time job of managing visual and mobility disabilities, chronic pain, and a chronic condition. Sometimes people ask the annoying question, ’What do you do?”
I respond with, ”I’m a professional patient.” The answer sparks an uncomfortable chuckle. The emergence of doubt can be overwhelming. Then comes the guilt and shame. The spiral seems endless.
I write in my book, Dance Because You Can: 5 Steps to Transform Trauma to Triumph, how annoyed and angry I would get when people said, “Oh honey, never give up.”
In my mind, I thought, F~~~ you.
In reality, never giving up is often stepping back, getting some rest, and allowing some space and grace to regroup and reset. Inspiration can arrive at any time.
In our all-or-nothing culture, it’s good to remind ourselves that the simple actions matter. In my most recent bout of “I am quitting and have no purpose,” inspiration came in the form of finding a book written by someone who put into words the challenges of not feeling I can trust my body to stay healthy.
I found inspiration by literally forcing myself to attend support events for my friends and colleagues. Seeing some really not great dance performances, and some really inspiring and engaging performances.
In our post-pandemic world, life-to-life connections are more important than ever. Even when the darkness persisted, I decided to treat my seemingly impossible goals as a game. “Let’s just see what happens,” I told myself.
Removing the pressure and expectation created some clarity, which made it fun. With each action came a sense of achievement and curiosity. With curiosity came a lightness that allowed space for bigger risks.
While patience remains a challenge, the determination is gradually returning. With a more lighthearted perspective, responses are beginning to trickle in.
There is movement.
In the meantime, I am also adamant about enjoying the process.
The moral of the story is let’s not take ourselves too seriously. Toss your hat in the air. Take the action, and leave the results up to the fulfillment of your exceptional mission.
At the very least, you will begin to enjoy the journey.