The bucket list I never knew I had until I gave up my fear! – Amy Jordan

The bucket list I never knew I had until I gave up my fear!

Remember that movie ‘The Bucket List?’  The term has since been coined and is frequently referred to for dreams and goals we want to manifest while we can.

Keeping it real.  I never really thought much about a bucket list.  For those of us with difficult to manage chronic conditions or trauma, we are often just focused on getting through the day.  The result can be a sense of waiting for the next shoe to drop or not believing we can achieve the things we want because of our health whether it’s a physical or emotional condition. 

Can you relate?

Through the process of coaching in my ‘Transform Trauma to Triumph’ program, we explore how to keep managing what we need to manage and continue to move ahead and have an amazingly fulfilling and joyous life.  It can be a challenging exercise to explore what we want for ourselves.

A couple of years ago someone asked me to write a list of the top 20 things on my bucket list.  I remember thinking:  “Are you kidding? 20 things I want to do or see or experience, that’s insane.”

The list-making didn’t get very far and eventually the file got shut down before it began. The idea of allowance just wasn’t in my grasp.  My friend would occasionally refer to the list and I just casually blew off his question.

To be frank, the fear of even letting myself consider this idea of a bucket list had a stronghold on my life.  I was still owned by my trauma and had a long list of reasons why I couldn’t make my dreams happen.  I simply did not share them.

Let’s fast forward to recent weeks.

On the insistence of another friend who has traveled the globe, I was invited to visit Greece.  When she first posed the idea, I remember thinking there is no way I can travel to Greece by myself.  Immediately the long list of ‘why nots ‘piled up in my psyche ranging from my diabetes to any number of other physical challenges I manage daily.

My friend would be visiting her son in Athens so I would be staying with them in his beautiful home, in a very trendy neighborhood called “The Plaka.”

I finally acquiesced to her and agreed to join them.  As the date drew near the panic drew clear.  But, as I have learned from years of SGI Buddhist practice, the demons in my mind were just obstacles trying to stop my life from taking such a huge step forward.

I arrived in Greece with all the necessary details, medications, snacks, plans, and backup plans completed. There was a strong amount of trepidation about the trip and even heading into travel day I considered canceling.

What had changed?  The fear was acknowledged, given its voice, and put aside. This is an ideal we discuss in the coaching program.  It’s not about ‘getting over the hesitation, the relationship, the trauma, or the negativity.

It is about creating new ways to manage this stuff and still have an amazing and joyous life.

As I sat at the beach overlooking the indescribable Mediterranean of the Greek Rivera, all I could say was WOW.  This picture had never been on my bucket list.  The moment had never even occurred as something I might want to experience.  Yet, there I was, sitting on Astir Beach overlooking the crystal blue sea decorated with the mountains of Greece. 

It got me thinking about that 20-item list that I never started, but also about the idea of possibility.  If we open our minds to what might be possible, we may likely experience things on our ‘bucket list’ we never may have thought were possible.

How do I know?  I just did it and so can you. If the possibility was truly endless, what would your 20- item ‘bucket list’ look like? The power to imagine the possibility is the first step to your own version of an actual visit to the Mediterranean.

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