As we grow and evolve, so do our connections and relationships. It’s likely happened many times over the course of a lifetime. We realize we are outgrowing our past relationships. Our ideas and needs have changed. Like a snake shedding its skin, we shed our old selves as we do our human revolution. We step into a more seasoned, hopefully wiser, and more self-respecting version of ourselves.
The space between what was and what will be can, however, be uncomfortable, lonely, and unsettling. We likely feel grief, sadness, or regret at what we may feel was lost or mismanaged. Ultimately these experiences have become our greatest learning. If you are, like me, in this space, let’s embrace the idea of what’s to come. Wanting a new type of connection is growth.
I’m a recovering people pleaser/codependent. Standing up for myself and setting healthy boundaries continues to take courage and intention. We know by now that everything in our environment is a reflection of our own lives. Some of our relationships may no longer fit our life space. Sitting with the discomfort of not knowing what’s to come is where the work happens. Take time for yourself. Find creative projects. Seek new communities of like-minded people. Say yes to invitations that seem interesting and stimulating.
We can cherish our existing relationships and still step back with grace and joy. If your spiritual and emotional needs are changing, welcome something new. Embrace the growth. This is when we choose to believe we can create the life we deserve. Trust me when I say I know it’s not easy. This is what it means to trust the process. Settling for what no longer serves out of fear or a need to ‘keep the peace’ only leads to further suffering and resentment for everyone involved. Awareness of a shift is a gift, indicating that it is time for new energy and connection in a different way.
Saying NO to emotionally and physically draining gatherings is perfectly acceptable. For those of us recovering from saying ’yes,’ this is an extremely liberating concept. It also takes practice. Remember, true friends will understand and embrace our evolution, hopefully wanting to join.
Enjoy the creation of your best community.